Quote of the Day If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Thinking , Gentleman 5 Copy quote If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Humor , Redneck 7 Copy quote If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Humor , Redneck Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996. 10 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Orange Juice , Might 17 Copy quote You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. Jeff Foxworthy Inspirational , Home , Redneck 54 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Law , Might 7 Copy quote You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. Jeff Foxworthy Queens , Mean , Redneck Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.97, Thomas Nelson Inc 7 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Might , Grades 5 Copy quote You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Shoes , Might 29 Copy quote You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Men , Might 7 Copy quote You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Might , Limits 10 Copy quote You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown. Jeff Foxworthy Cousin , Redneck , Might 5 Copy quote Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately. Jeff Foxworthy Wife , Funny Marriage , Looks 8 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Jeans , Cracks 7 Copy quote If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Bail , Might 11 Copy quote Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Dna , Causes 7 Copy quote We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists. Jeff Foxworthy Believe , Trying , Littles 12 Copy quote If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Home , Humor 10 Copy quote If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Family , Feelings Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996. 62 Copy quote You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Book , Humor 20 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. Jeff Foxworthy Flower , Redneck , Yards 9 Copy quote I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead Jeff Foxworthy Real , Blue , Wife 11 Copy quote I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Song , Humor "The Tonight Show", March 27, 2007. 25 Copy quote Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. Jeff Foxworthy Jesus , College , Fishing 21 Copy quote Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Dog , Baby 31 Copy quote If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Thinking , Gentleman 5 Copy quote If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Humor , Redneck 7 Copy quote If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Humor , Redneck Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996. 10 Copy quote If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck. You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Orange Juice , Might 17 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate. You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. Jeff Foxworthy Inspirational , Home , Redneck 54 Copy quote You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Law , Might 7 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. Jeff Foxworthy Queens , Mean , Redneck Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.97, Thomas Nelson Inc 7 Copy quote You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Might , Grades 5 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Shoes , Might 29 Copy quote You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Men , Might 7 Copy quote You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Might , Limits 10 Copy quote You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day. You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown. Jeff Foxworthy Cousin , Redneck , Might 5 Copy quote You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown. Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately. Jeff Foxworthy Wife , Funny Marriage , Looks 8 Copy quote Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately. You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Jeans , Cracks 7 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up. If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Bail , Might 11 Copy quote If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck. Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same. Jeff Foxworthy Redneck , Dna , Causes 7 Copy quote Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same. We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists. Jeff Foxworthy Believe , Trying , Littles 12 Copy quote We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Home , Humor 10 Copy quote If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck. If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Family , Feelings Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996. 62 Copy quote If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Book , Humor 20 Copy quote You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. Jeff Foxworthy Flower , Redneck , Yards 9 Copy quote You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead Jeff Foxworthy Real , Blue , Wife 11 Copy quote I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Song , Humor "The Tonight Show", March 27, 2007. 25 Copy quote I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles. Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. Jeff Foxworthy Jesus , College , Fishing 21 Copy quote Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door. Jeff Foxworthy Funny , Dog , Baby 31 Copy quote Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door. Latest quotes from interviews "We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us." Related Authors Larry the Cable Guy Comedian Bill Engvall Comedian Ron White Stand-up comedian Jim Varney Actor Jeff Dunham Ventriloquist Alan Jackson Singer Kirk Franklin Musician Chris Rock Comedian Ellen DeGeneres Comedian Kevin Harrington Entrepreneur Chris Hardwick Comedian Denis Leary Actor Minnie Pearl Comedian Jerry Seinfeld Comedian Bill Cosby Comedian Bill Hicks Comedian Steve Martin Actor Mark Burnett Television Producer George Carlin Comedian Greg Giraldo Stand-up comedian Born: September 6, 1958 Occupation: Comedian Cite this Page: Citation Get Social with AzQuotes Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends New Quotes (15) Quote of the Day Javascript and RSS feeds WordPress plugin ES Version AZQuotes.ES Login with your account Find Your Account